A man smiling.

Accepting Reality and Moving On with Life

Ever felt like a paralyzed being?

I mean knowing how badly you want to change things in your life but you simply can’t or you can but it is seemingly impossible to your current thought process.

Yeah, I have felt that many times in my life. Being on that journey was not my choice. But believing that it was impossible to either change or accept it, was so my choice.

The reality, changeable or only acceptable, both can be hard to live with. You can accept some of your reality with little effort. 

But for some, all of your efforts might not be enough because this is life and sometimes it gets pretty hard on you no matter who you are and what value you hold. 

Some reality can be dreadful to even think of its possible consequences to your fictional reality. Which later on gives you a constant rise to tragedies in life making things even worse for you. 

As we all grew in different environmental settings, it is obvious our form of suffering is different from one another because suffering is for all humankind.

Remember, a seed is just a seed if you don’t pour water to it. If you pour water to it, then only it will grow to be a beautiful flower or a tree. 

That seed is so you. And life pours you water in a form of pain, suffering or maybe happiness which helps you grow to your fullest potential. – Gaurab Pokharel

So as a human being, in order to grow to your fullest self, you have to fully accept things that life presents to you. Whether it be pain or happiness. 

You have to accept things as they are. And, make yourself physically and mentally so strong that you can win any battle against unforeseeable circumstances that might hinder your path in the time that is yet to come. 

ACCEPTING THE UNACCEPTABLE

But let’s be real here.

Some realities of your life can slap you really hard. You literally have to live like either you’re in a coma or your whole body is paralyzed and you simply can’t do anything about it.  

Do you want me to explain what that might be? Or you can just look around your life.

Unchangeable Reality

That could be the death of your immediate loved ones. Your unrequited love. Your failed relationships. Dreadful accident you’ve been into.  

You could even have a disease that has no cure and you’re just waiting for your own departure. That would suck.

Or maybe the fact that you were raped, or molested and found no motivation to ask for help or support.

Or maybe even that you have no family to call your own. The fact that you know the world is a beautiful place but the people living on it are cruel as hell.

The fact that you’ve no friends at college or you were bullied and you’re lonely as hell even more than 7 billion seems to be around you. 

The fact that you’re poor and trying hard to make money to feed your family or to educate your children. The fact that you’re not sure how many more days you have to survive with your empty bowel. 

The fact that you’re not good-looking or beautiful enough to be someone’s special but still tryna fit into this society.

But besides all of these things, the worst and the bitter truth is that time will never stop for you. Life will never give you enough time to understand why you have to accept the ‘unacceptable’ and why you have to surrender all of the “Why” questions that you kept on asking from day one.

So, please understand that there are no answers to any of your “Why” questions.

Ok, give yourself a minute or so. Imagine that you are taking an exam of some particular subject.

And, while you were writing on your answer sheets, suppose, you came across a question that is somehow difficult and you don’t know any answer to that question.

Now, tell me what would you do in that very exact situation?

Wouldn’t you skip to another question?

Yeah, at first you might push your brain a little hard but in the end, I bet, you move on to another question because you have no answer to write about.

So, just like that.

You should and you must skip the questions that you’ve been asking from the day you’ve been into this universe.

Because the reality is You Don’t Know and You Can’t Find an answer to that question.

So, that is the reality you don’t have any power to either control or change. Life threw it on you. Understand that, you didn’t play any role in the existence of that reality

The only thing you can do is ACCEPT that fucking shit and move on with life.

Tell me, what would happen if you spend your whole time on solving that one particular question that was on your question paper? (But, remember you didn’t make that question paper. Life did.)

Wouldn’t you fail?

See, if you spend most of your energy on thinking ‘God, I wish I was different’, ‘I wish I was good looking/beautiful’, ‘I wish that never happened’, ‘I’m a failure’, ‘Why me?’, ‘ I can’t do it/do that’, ‘It is impossible’, not only will you ruin your life but also the people around you. 

And they could be your family members and the people who want the best of your expression. 

Remember, you can’t buy time and it is so valuable

Better not regret later on when you’re done trying to quit or ignore your reality than be wise now and change what you still can.

Change while you can before it turns into ‘I could have’.

Gaurab Pokharel

Look, if you skip that question, you might find some other questions that might be somehow easy and answerable for you.

Just like that in your life, SO WHAT if you fail to deliver on one or two or some aspects of your life. On those that you never had any power to control and change. 

There are other aspects of your life that you can embrace to its fullest. They are waiting for you to discover them. You can only recognize and identify them when you accept your “unacceptable”.  

Once you accept things as they are, you will see the lights coming in from your own darkness. I can’t guarantee you an abundance of happiness and joy but what I can tell you is you will find peace within your reality. Yeah, the reality that you wish was never real.

Neither you can end your sufferings nor can you get away with it. You have to understand that it will last until your demise.

Gaurab Pokharel

You have to assent to the fact that you don’t have any control over what life brings to you and you can’t change what has already happened or what you’re already given.

It is what it is. Change or accept it.

Gaurab Pokharel

But you won’t be wrong to believe that you can guide and direct your current reality to your desired reality. You can attain any outcomes you hope for your fictional reality by making the right choices and taking correct thoughtful actions in your current reality.  

You have two choices which will either make your life a bit more satisfying or make it even worse than it is now.

The choice is all yours. 

1. Either you can make your current situation even worse by trying to ignore, quit, and give up on what you can make out of it. 

2. Or, you can acknowledge it for what it is and rather focus on what part you can play to make things a bit easier for you to deal with and make your life happier or satisfying.

Acknowledge It For ‘What it is’

So at first, you have to acknowledge your reality or problems that you are not comfortable with and dying to change or accept it. 

It could be your regrets in life, disappointments, your mistakes, the wrong career path that you choose, relationships you failed, your failures, your behavior, habits, lifestyle, negative attitude, or your health.

When you acknowledge your reality, you’re well aware of your situation. Listen, acknowledging reality as it is, gives you a sense of clarity to your current situation. 

After doing so, you can foster your possible future decisions and actions which later on leads you to focus on things you have more power to control over rather than continuously fighting an unpurposeful and pointless battle with your state of mind. 

Admitting Your Problems

Admit that you have a problem. It could be the insecurities you’re dealing with, your bad habits, actions, behavior, guilts, things that need improvement in your life, or anything that you were unaware of which led you to where you are now. 

Remember, you can’t find solutions to your problem until you admit that you have a problem. 

When you admit your problem, you open doors of opportunity for yourself to find out ways to handle it.

Gaurab Pokharel

Working On Your Reality

Changeable Reality

A changeable reality is a form of reality that you have full power to control over. You can change it in a way it resembles your believable setting.  – Gaurab Pokharel

Before actually working on your current situation, you have to show radical honesty to your present state of mind

Do not give more importance to your biases rather be honest with yourself then recognize and address the realities that you know you have the power and strength to change. 

So, how can you work on your changeable reality? 

Before getting into this, ask yourself these questions and answer them.

Am I satisfied with my current reality? Do I have the willpower to change it? Am I really happy with it? Will I be satisfied if I see myself like this or even worse in the coming month or a year?  Should I keep procrastinating and later on regret but still continue to do it? Is this the reality I wanted for myself? Should I sacrifice my dream, my aspiration, and give up in life? 

Once you do this, you will be fully aware of what you really want from your life. 

Do you really want to change it and feel happier and more satisfied than ever before? 

If yes, then follow me here.

Here it goes…

So, In order to change your reality, the first and foremost thing you need to do is identify the roles that you enacted upon that led you to this situation. 

Point out things that you did, right or wrong, that shaped your current reality. At the same time, state out the roles that you may have or could have played so that you didn’t have to deal with what you’re currently dealing with. 

Decisions that we thought were the best can turn into the worse. Actions we thought were right to take can be unwelcoming.

Own your mistakes, your failure and not only that own your strengths too. Things that you are really good at. 

Don’t let your focus be lost only on your weaknesses or inabilities or disabilities but also let it flow on your competencies. – Gaurab Pokharel

Because when you do that positivity comes into play. 

More you focus on your strength, the more positive you become. – Gaurab Pokharel

When you know what your strengths are you will feel good about yourself and you will treat yourself better than you used to.

In life, sometimes we make mistakes and we fail. 

But if we take our mistakes as just a mistake and our failure as just a failure then we will never succeed. 

Because there is no meaning at all if we make mistakes and fail but never try to make something out of it and give it a shape (of what we call as success). And that shape is your dream and the reality you want. 

Analyze your past events to make sure the same situation doesn’t reoccur. Go deep into it and find out, at what exact situation you went wrong and what are those series of events that led you to where you are now. 

Try not to make the same mistake again.

You have already given tons of time and now it has to end.  

Look back for takeaway. But not to get away with life.

Gaurab Pokharel

It is obvious that we have to take our mistakes and failures as a learning opportunity because life will never stop bringing challenges to our easiness. And we better be prepared for that.

The next thing I want you to do is…

Compare your current reality with the reality you wish was real or you dreamt of. Yeah, you dreamt of. 

The problem here is that you only dreamt of it. 

Yeah, you didn’t take any action or you did but it wasn’t enough

You gave up (say ‘I won’t’), you let fear get in your way (say ‘not anymore’), you let procrastination win (say ‘now it is my turn’), you shy-away from your challenges (say ‘I will face it and fight it, no matter what’), you wasted all your ability, power, and strength to other people’s limited belief system of what you’re capable of doing with the life you have.

Yeah, that’s you. (say, ‘I disagree’)

Change your reality while you can before it changes you permanently and trapped you in hell-like reality.

Gaurab Pokharel

Look, changeable realities are to change. Not to waste with the limited perceptions of life that you have.

Wouldn’t you be happier and feel more satisfied with the outcomes?

And…, that is so your choice.

Don’t try to get away with your reality but get along with it. Then, only you can flourish into your fictional reality.

How you came wasn’t your choice but how you want to live your life is so your choice.

Gaurab Pokharel

You don’t have to play the role of the victim all your life because there is a possibility that you can grow even if it’s too dark in your life.

Even if you believe you have a 1% chance of turning what you think is impossible to possible. You can embrace it everyday with your tiny little steps. One at a time.

We eat, we drink, we breathe, we go to places, etc. 

See, these little steps make up our whole day. Every day. That’s how we grow as a human. With tiny little steps.

And it takes time for your dream to become your reality.

All it takes is Patience, Determination, Hard Work and consequences will come in-between. 

  • Gaurab Pokharel

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